I'm not ashamed to admit that,

when I was a bit younger, I used to dream of being picked to live in a house where I could finally stop being polite and start being real. I never actually auditioned for The Real World but I told myself that, if I had, I would so have been chosen. I just have that sparkle they're looking for.

Now, as much as I knew that couldn't hack it, I also thought that being on Road Rules might have been fun. This, of course, was when Road Rules was more about sky diving and bungie jumping and less about catching pig eyes in your mouth and drinking cow vagina milk shakes.

Having said that, I must now say that the Real World/Road Rules Challenge that MTV has been airing for the past several years makes me angry. Sure, I thought the first season was kind of nice, but it was just a novelty then, seeing guys and gals from different sides of the MTV tracks go at it. Now? Just plain anger making.

Why I stayed up until 2:30 this morning watching episode after horrible episode of that show I'll never know. Maybe because nothing else was on. Or maybe because I really wanted to see if Arissa could make it across The Contraption without falling into the water. Or maybe because, after 4 episodes, I had begun to emotionally invest myself into the lives of these wretched people. I'd like to think that I hadn't emotionally invested myself, but then what would explain the crying that occured when Stephen kind-of sort-of bitch slapped Shane and then got booted off the show, despite Shane's pleas to keep him?

I'll just stop here before I shame myself any further.

Posted by Taylor on January 23, 2005 @ 10:20 pm

I'm expecting an email.

Actually, "expecting" isn't the best word to use here. "Expecting" makes it sound like there is definitely an email with my name on it heading my way. That's really not the case, so I'll just start over.

I'm waiting for a possible email. I'm thinking it won't be here until Thursday. Yesterday was Thursday. I'm talking, like, six more days. I already feel like I've been waiting at least six days, but every time I check it's still not Thursday.

Why is it still not Thursday?

Posted by Taylor on January 21, 2005 @ 11:41 pm

Taylor: I can't stop drinking Shirley Temples.

Kate: Darling, you know, every once in a while, we have these moments

Kate: you know those moments?

Taylor: Which moments, darling?

Kate: Moments where you say something and then I say "THAT WAS THE GAYEST SENTENCE EVER". You know, those moments?

Taylor: HAHAHAHA

Taylor: I do!

Taylor: Did we just have one of those?

Kate: we did, in fact, just have one of those

Posted by Taylor on January 21, 2005 @ 12:57 pm

The changes have been made

and I've deleted a bunch of entries towards the beginning of this thing. I suppose that will account for the disjointed feeling in the early parts. That and the fact that, at the time, I was neither eating nor sleeping.

Posted by Taylor on January 21, 2005 @ 9:53 am

So Kate was tap dancing at the gay bar

and there's really a whole story to be told there involving the lotus blossom, Harvard, and cheese (in that order), but I'll let her tell it.

New York was, in a word, difficult. More difficult than I had imagined it would be (and I knew it would be hard). I could actually thoroughly enjoy myself when I was with Connie. She lives in Chinatown. He and I never went to Chinatown. Who actually goes to Chinatown? It was when I spent time with Kate and Chris that was a challenge. That stupid bar and stupid 34th street and stupid stupid everything. Of course, I would hate to discount my time spent with them. Just because I was miserable and mopey at that bar doesn't mean it wasn't the right thing for me. And Tuesday with Kate was simply splendid! There was bacon abound!

Of course, there were ten thousand things I wanted to write about, but now that it's come time to write about them all I can think about is the letter I just put in the mail. Perhaps we'll wait.

Also, as soon as DLand comes back up, I'm going to be making some major edits to my archives. I'm going to be removing a large chunk of what I wrote when I started writing in this thing. It served its purpose and now it's time for it to go back to being private.

Posted by Taylor on January 20, 2005 @ 4:35 pm