FREE KATIE

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Finally a cause I can get behind.

Posted by Taylor on June 10, 2005 @ 11:20 am

I. Love. People.

I am in no way being sarcastic either. I just love people. I love situations that allow me to interact with people. I especially love being around people who are a) wrong, b) stupid, c) mean, d) old, or e) any combination of items a through d.

I love fighting with the customers that call me at work. I've found particular pleasure lately in calling/sending out bills to people who haven't paid for their subscriptions. I like telling them that they're wrong. That, no, they have not paid and that, yes, they must do so before I personally come to their home and relieve myself on their front lawn (I've yet to tell anyone I'd relieve myself on their front lawn but OH how I'd love to).

I practically got off on telling a woman that I was not going to send out a newspaper for her today. She told me that she didn't receive her paper yesterday and that she didn't think she'd received it today. I asked her if she'd checked for it and she said, "That's a waste of time!" I asked her if she said that it was a waste of time because I didn't think we lived on a planet where going out to see if your own newspaper that you just called to complain about had actually been delivered would be considered a waste of time. She replied, "Yes."

I. Love. People. They just fascinate me.

Exhibit B:

How about this guy? "Being bizarre is not a reason to keep somebody out of this country or lock them up." First of all, I beg to differ. Second of all, even if being bizarre isn't enough to deny entrance to the country or put them in jail then that hair-do should be. And, I suppose, if the bizarre thing and the hair thing isn't reason enough then maybe toting sundry weapons (one of which appeared to be bloody) should be!

Lastly, Bitsy told me a story about a woman who was four-months pregnant and jet skiing when she got stuck on a sand bar. Hello? Hello. Isn't that something that you girls are taught by your mothers at a very young age? They teach you the birds, the bees, how to shave your legs, how to insert a tampon, and that riding jet skis while pregnant is bad, right? Apparently not, because, in an effort to locate this news story I found this post over at www.pregnancy-info.net. Apparently this is a common misconception.

PEOPLE. PLEASE. I love every second of it.

Posted by Taylor on June 08, 2005 @ 1:59 pm

Reason No. 2,719 why I should never have children:

At a friend's barbecue on Saturday night I encouraged another friend's 5-year-old son to swipe his finger through the very large flame of a candle. I suppose, in hind sight, that maybe 5-year-olds shouldn't be going anywhere near open flames but I know that it doesn't hurt me and, therefore, shouldn't hurt him.

I don't know why I don't like children. I don't ever remember liking them. I didn't even like them when I was a child - I recall thinking that they were acting like children which, I guess, was appropriate at the time.

Once, I told a little girl on the beach that she was ugly. I don't really know why I did it (besdies the fact that she was an unattractive thing). She was crying. I think she might have gotten stung by a jelly fish. I don't know. Whatever.

I also hit a little boy in the face with a shopping bag once when I was in New york. Technically, he walked right into it, but in his defense I saw him coming and didn't swerve.

When he and I first started dating he told me that he would really like to have a little boy someday. I'm not sure if I actually said "Go fuck yourself" but I'm sure I said something along those lines.

Posted by Taylor on June 06, 2005 @ 12:28 pm