All I can say about

last night's late-night entry is: hangover hangover hangover.

At work, nonetheless, but only because I'm leaving at 11 today anyway.

I went out to dinner with Mother and Bitsy last night. I thought it might be nice to finally take Bits out for her birthday and we thought it might be nice to invite Mother as well. She has a lot going on in her life right now and a fun night out at one of her favorite restaurants in the city was most definitely in order.

I suppose this might also be a nice time to offer a public apology to the nice bartender girl that I so rudely shook my empty glass at to indicate that, yes, I did in fact need another mojito. I am not a glass-shaker by nature! Her mojitos were just so good!

And then, thoroughly disappointed with the restaurants advertised Disco Night Thursday, we loaded into the car and put on Mother's Get Down tonight: A 70s Explosion CD. I thought I was having a good time in the front seat when Vicki Sue Robinson came on until I turned around to find Bitsy in the back seat singing, dancing, and wearing Mother's straw garden hat.

Let me just say that, as fun at that CD was last night, when I got in the car this morning? It was too early to go anywhere even remotely close to Funkytown.

Posted by Taylor on May 20, 2005 @ 9:32 am

mojito mojito mojito

MOJITOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!

Posted by Taylor on May 19, 2005 @ 11:42 pm

I weigh one-half pound heavier this morning than I did yesterday morning.

I like to weigh myself every morning, just to make sure I'm not wasting away again. Also, the new scale in my bathroom blinks and has my name on it. Truth be told, I'm a sucker for things that blink and have my name on them.

Sometimes, when Bitsy and I are bored at work (read: every moment of every work day), we like to play Let's Pretend. Like, the other day we pretended that we were going to open a day care center! We thought we'd open it on The Lynnway (a very busy, traffic-y street) and organize games of Marco Polo out in the front yard. And then Bitsy came up with the idea of the Scissor Relay Race, which I am totally behind. We'd feed them nothing but gummy worms and Jolt soda and then, to induce nap time, we'd probably have to give them whiskey and a muscle relaxer or two.

I think it would be wicked fun!

Posted by Taylor on May 18, 2005 @ 10:42 am

Happy First Anniversary

to all the Massachusetts married 'Mos! See people? One year later and nothing catastrophic has happened. People aren't spontaneously combusting. Entire cities aren't getting swallowed by the very earth on which they stand. Naked men are not having sex in front of classrooms full of children. Tony Danza did get a talk show, but I'd like to think that's completely unrelated.

Last night was the series finale of Everybody Loves Raymond. I do not love Raymond. I don't even like him. But I watched the show because, let's face it, I can't afford to be any further out of the loop. I know that the show had quite a following though. While discussing this with Connie last night she called the show "one of the most relatable" on television. Considering the show was about a married couple and Connie is a 21-year-old single woman, I suppose that says a lot.

Although, just moments later, Connie called both Madeline and Eloise "fucking bitches", so we're not talking about a girl playing with a full deck of cards.

Posted by Taylor on May 17, 2005 @ 11:30 am

I spent the weekend

recuperating, doing laundry, and eating more food than any 5'9" 135 lb. person ever should. Bottom line: I'm feeling better but my weekend was more boring than an episode of Joey.

Because of this, I will tell you a story from Bitsy's weekend.

The punch line of the story is that Bitsy had "dead people mud" on her foot. The story, which surpasses the punch line, is that she had to go to a burial service on Saturday. At the end of the service everyone stepped up to the hole in the ground (a small-ish hole. Just large enough for the box that held the urn that held the ashes to fit into) and threw a handful of dirt down in. I've personally never heard of this tradition, but I'm sure it carries with it some amount of symbolism.

The symbolism? Completely lost on Bitsy, because she was not having the dirt at all. Feeling that it might be rude to be the only person at the service to eschew the dirt-tossing ritual, she eventually mustered the strength to approach the hole and, with her foot, kick a little bit of dirt into the hole...except she must have miscalculated somewhere, because she ending up losing her balance and falling into the hole. She was knee-deep in the ground and probably could have been in a much worse position had she not grabbed the deceased's headstone to catch herself.

So to recap, she walked up to the hole, kicked dirt down onto the remains of the dearly departed, fell down into the hole, and braced herself on the tombstone of said departed.

For me, this story is every bit as funny as it is completely irreverent.

Posted by Taylor on May 16, 2005 @ 3:30 pm

"Condominium resident Ron Fleming

said he was walking through the parking lot when he saw what appeared to be a rolled-up carpet falling from several stories up. Then he heard someone yell that a woman was laying on the 10-foot by 6-foot green canvas awning about eight feet off the ground.

"You don't expect someone to say to you, 'There's a woman on the awning,'" Fleming said.

HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! I CAN'T STOP!

I apologize, truly.

Posted by Taylor on May 16, 2005 @ 10:58 am