Today is a very special day!

Today is your birthday, darling! Now, I could sit here and shower you with compliments. I could say that you mean the world to me and that I feel blessed to have you in my life. I could tell you that I love you and wish you the very happiest of all birthday in the history of ever.

But really, darling. You know me better than that. Why would I do those things when, instead, I could use this photograph that you so graciously supplied me with some time ago to have a little fun?

Happy
Birthday
Darling!

Posted by Taylor on September 18, 2005 @ 5:55 pm

It's 4:29am

and I'm not quite bright-eyed and I'm hardly bushy-tailed but I am most certainly wide awake. This could be for any number of reasons.

It could be because I needed lemonade. I did not want lemonade. I needed it. My desire for lemonade was primal.

It could be because, on occasion, my boyfriend snores like a motor boat. And, on occasion, it keeps me up and, on very few occasions, it keeps me up and out of bed.

It could be because I do not have a job. I have been here for exactly one day less than exactly one month and I still don't have a job. This, for the record, is not from lack of looking. I check craig's list every day. I asked Kate last night if she thought I'd make a very good High School Girl's JV Basketball Coach and she said yes, except that I'd have turned the team into a leotard-wearing dance troupe by the end of the season. She is, of course, correct.

It's 4:37am and I'm on my second glass of lemonade.

It could be because today is Thursday and, as far as I can recall (though I've been known to screw these things up), tomorrow is Friday and on Friday (i.e. tomorrow) I have a total of six self-portraits due in my photography class. Three of the portraits should be in the more traditional sense and three have to be a self portrait through the eyes of my kitchen/the food in my kitchen. The Kitchen stuff will shoot itself. The other three? Not going to shoot themselves. At this rate, they'll never get shot at all. I didn't like my self-portrait in printmaking and I don't like it here and I won't like it the next 47 times it gets assigned.

It could be because one of J's cat's weighs roughly one metric ton and has made it a habit of waking me up whenever he can see the bottom of his food bowl. This, as I'm sure you can imagine, is a vicious, vicious cycle.

It could be because I started reading a book about the golden section last night and that shit is, to put it mildy, whack.

It's 4:45 am and I'm on my third glass of lemonade.

Posted by Taylor on September 15, 2005 @ 4:51 am

Sometimes I forget this thing even exists.

That may or may not have something to do with the fact that I spent 4 hours cutting little circles and little squares out of black paper and adhering them to white paper yesterday. It stands to be noted that I was using StudioTac as my adhesive of choice and that, by the end of the four hours, I'd affixed my hand to my work surface, my lead holder to my pencil box, one little black circle to the side of my laptop, my headphone cord to the sheet of StudioTac and the sheet of StudioTac to the table.

It also stands to be noted that, despite (or maybe in spite of) using a t-square, a triangle, and a ($35!!!) ruler, I'm still completely incapable of making a perfect 5 �" square.

One of my classes is called The Fundamentals of Graphic Design and another is called Materials, Tools, and Comping Techniques. J calls them Circles & Squares and Pens & Pencils, respectively.

Judging from yesterday's showing, I will be failing both Circles & Squares and Pens & Pencils.

I have 3 self-portraits due for my photography class on Friday. Now, I've never been a cheater, but I'm a little upset that cheating isn't even an option for this assignment. I suppose it would be kind of like showing a fake ID at a bar, but with very little chance for success.

Teacher: That's not you.
Me: Sure it is!
Teacher: No, that's definitely not you.
Me: I had longer hair then! And a mustache! Look, my birthday's January 17th, 1979!
Teacher: I don't care when your birthday is, this photograph is not of you.

So, in other words, yet another class I'm destined to fail.

Posted by Taylor on September 12, 2005 @ 10:06 am

I made a very wise decision today.

I befriended the white girl with dreadlocks.

This, of course, means I'll get at least one A this semester (more if her white-girl-dreadlock creativity is so potent that it can carry into other classes).

Also, it's a little disheartening when you're cursing and crying and sweating your way up one of the vertical hills in this city only to have some 85-year-old Chinese lady speed past you. With a bag of rice on her head.


Posted by Taylor on September 07, 2005 @ 4:13 pm

I've now been to two of my four classes.

Technically, I guess I've been to two of my three classes. As I've said before, my art history class is online and let it be known that I have already taken advantage of the fact that one need not wear clothes to attend an online class.

Now, from these two classes I've gathered three things.

1. At 23, I can officially say that I'm getting old.

2. Reading is no longer taught in grade school, high school, or anywhere in between.

3. White girls with dreadlocks will always have more artistic talent in just one of their dreadlocks than I'll ever have in my entire mind, body, and/or spirit.

The three proceding facts are just that: factual.

Side note to Connie-

I just found spam email in my Spam Email Inbox from Goldenson, Gelbman, Glucksman, another Gelbman, Goldberg and Finkel. I'd appreciate it if you told your friends to stop emailing me. I know it's you -- I don't know anyone else who's down with the Meshpucha.

Posted by Taylor on September 06, 2005 @ 8:19 pm