I was going to get up here and tell everyone to get out there and labor in honor of this blessed holiday and then J informed me that Labor Day is actually a day not to labor. So. Whatever you do today. Don't labor.
Posted by Taylor on September 05, 2005 @ 10:56 amThis is metaphorically speaking, of course. If we were talking about real book-reading, Kate and I are never on the same page. This was made crystal clear to me the night Kate and I spent reading in bed together. I was reading Alice Sebold's The Lovely Bones and she was reading something else. I left the room to get a glass of water and by the time I got back she'd found the time to pick up my book, read it in its entirety, put it back down, and then craft a diorama of a rather complicated scene which I'm sure she intended to use as a learning aid for my peanut-sized brain.
We eventually established that the marked difference in reading speed had something to do with the fact that I, in order to achieve maximum comprehension, must actually read aloud inside my head. Naturally, I can skip a few words here and there, but typically I read the book inside my head just as if I was going to read it to a class of third graders (not that anyone should read The Lovely Bones to a class of third graders). Kate, on the other hand, just kind of looks at the words. At least I think she's just looking at the words. I don't really know how she does it (I repeat: peanut-sized brain). But she does not need to read the words inside her head. This, in turn, allows for quicker reading and, for her, optimal retention. I could stare at a page all day without reading the words and I wouldn't be able to tell you if I'd been looking at The Bible or The Bobbsey Twins.
That same night, it stands to be noted, is the very last night I saw Kate before so much changed in her life. I'd like to think the new Kate is beyond spending nights in reading with out-of-town friends but, on the other hand, I hope not because I'm still boring as all get-out.
(I just typed I'm still boring as al get-out and I know that if Kate and I Were IMing right now she'd have had some witty comment about Al Get-out and his camel).
The entire point of this thing was to say that you could go here to Kate's and, minus the whole WEDDING thing, we are exactly on the same page.
I suppose, for me, the little toy car at the bottom of this too-long, terribly boring box of cereal is that I got to spend some time thinking about one of the most lovely, amazing people I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.
I finished Harry Potter last night and all I can say is boy howdy, I did not expect all of that to befall my beloved characters!
I finished at midnight my time and I really wanted to talk to someone about it. J has not even read HP4 or HP5 yet, so he was out of the question. The only other person I wanted to talk to was Connie, but it was 3am her time and if she did happen to be awake I'm sure she would have been drunk and wouldn't have given one fuck less about the goings-on at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
I'd tell everyone to go out and read it right now, but I've already come to terms with the fact that I am the last person in the galaxy to finish the book so you can all just carry on then.
Posted by Taylor on August 27, 2005 @ 10:45 amI accomplished absolutely nothing from yesterday's to-do list. No-thing. Actually, I listened to Bizet*. And maybe I brushed my teeth 47 times -- I lost count somewhere around 32.
This only means that I have to be extra-specially productive today which, I won't lie to you, has little to no chance of happening. I'm tired. I'm tired and I used up all of my brainpower for the day trying to guess what the Spanish exclamations printed on the front of a two-pack of Bounty paper towels read ("Bien Acolchonadas!") before I realized it was printed in English just above.
Speaking of paper products, I have more proof that I do, in fact, love this man and, will, in fact, endure anything for him. He prefers the toilet paper to be put on the roll backward. For the longest time I thought I was dating a straight man posing as a gay man (I have more evidence than just this) and would just flip the roll whenever he'd put it on. No. He likes it that way. He does it consciously. Apparently, it gets the hanging paper "out of the way." Now, I never particularly felt that the hanging paper was in the way, but that's fine.
*Dear Nancy,
Georges Bizet was a Parisian composer probably most notable to the masses for Carmen, an opera. Just between you, me, and Bizet, Carmen was a flop. It was eschewed for being lewd. Let's face it: Carmen was a whore. Naturally, Carmen rose to popularity after Bizet's death (which I'm hoping the same might happen to me, but then I wonder the point of being invited to all of the hot parties when you're dead).
Though I'm a fan of Carmen, my heart lies with a few of his other works. The L'arlesienne suites were written for a play of the same name (and if I wasn't lazy I would go and find who penned the play). They're very charming and easy to listen to. His Symphony in C is, to me, pure beauty. During my music studies, I was convinced that I would not have lived until I got to perform the solo in the Adagio (which, for the record, never happened outside of the practice cubicle). Also, I think he wrote the symphony when he was 17 or 18 (another fact I'd corroborate if not for being a bum).
Posted by Taylor on August 26, 2005 @ 9:23 am- Listen to Bizet ( preferably his L'Arlesienne suites, if I can find them)
- Send a card to Kate & MS (HI DARLING YOU'RE, LIKE, MARRIED)
- Bake red velvet cupcakes with cream cheese frosting (J's favorite)
- Find a job (money = good)
- Finish Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (because, as usual, I'm light years behind the curve)
- Make the bedroom more like a bedroom (because, unfortunately, is currently more like the place where my boyfriend's old clothes go to die)
- Brush my teeth 47 times (because I'm still in love with my new toothbush)
It's something that I never thought I'd be able to do. I couldn't imagine myself, under any circumstances or amount of alcohol, being able to muster the courage/insouciance to -- oh God I can barely even say it.
I peed in the bathroom without turning on the faucet while J was in the house.
For those of you who know me, this is monumental. I couldn't bring myself to do it after having lived with him for almost 9 months. I still can't even do it at home with my family in the house.
This, of course, means that I must either kill J or marry him.
In other bathroom related news, I just went out and purchased a Colgate 360�. I've never been a fan of those fangle-dangle electric toothbrushes. I don't care if they can remove the plaque, prevent the gum disease known as gingivitis, and teach me how to make the perfect omelette. They're too much pressure. The last one I tried literally forced me to brush my teeth for two full minutes, beeping to signify the start of a new minute. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's wrong to brush ones teeth for a full two minutes, but sometimes I'm not there to brush my teeth, but just to freshen up after a meal. This toothbrush did not shut off until those two minutes were up, though, and if I took it out of my mouth before it shut off it would spray toothpaste all over my face and the mirror.
Ahem.
I do not like electric toothbrushes, so I went out and bought a Colgate 360�. Can I say that it's the most amazingly perfect toothbrush ever conceived? It has a large, wide head loaded with all sorts of different kinds of bristles! There are blue ones and white ones and little foamy thingies that are supposed to polish! The best part is, naturally, the tongue scraper on the back. Despite having the very worst gag reflex imaginable, I love a good tongue-scraping in the morning. This tongue scraper is not as rough as the bristles, so it gently yet effectively scrapes away any and all of whatever it is that tongue scrapers scrape away!
So I guess what I'm trying to say is that while I've just acquired the ability to pee like a normal person, I've also fallen in love with a toothbrush. You win some, you lose some.
Posted by Taylor on August 23, 2005 @ 10:54 amI could say that it's taken me some time to settle in but that would be a lie because I don't even have any of my things yet. It's really just taken me some time to wake up from the dream that is living back in this house in this city with this man and these cats.
Also, I recently purchased an olive green cutting board and an eggplant cutting board, both from Crate & Barrel, and I've been very busy cutting things.
I've finally managed to get on west coast time. This is good because a) I have a lot to do before school starts and b) because I drool when I'm over-tired and drooling can hardly be attractive.
Speaking of being attractive, I've stumbled upon a sure-fire way of measuring how much more attractive your boyfriend is than you are. It's easy, really. First make sure he's dressed in a plaid flannel shirt over a too-big white t-shirt and jeans with the knees torn out of them. Then make sure you're dressed in your most ass-errific jeans and a really cute fitted t-shirt. Then go to the grocery store that is, for all intents and purposes, in the Castro and, thus, so teeming with gay men that they're practically bent over the meat case. Then count how many times he gets checked out and compare it to the number of times you get checked out.
According to my calculations, my boyfriend is 4.6 billion times hotter than me. And, for the record, I'm fine with that.
Posted by Taylor on August 21, 2005 @ 11:26 am