Mother has signed up for a belly dancing class.

There. I said it. I've been sitting on that for weeks. Weeks! It feels so good to finally get it out.

There's something about Mother belly dancing that just doesn't sit right with me. I don't know if it's the assumed exposed midriff (isn't that a prerequisite for proper belly dancing?) or maybe the finger cymbals. She will have to wear finger cymbals, no? And a vest loosely woven out of gold coins? Isn't that just standard belly dancing garb? Oh, I don't know.

It could also be the fact that she's going to belly dance on her lunch break. Now, when she first told me this I thought she meant she was going to perform during her lunch break. As you may or may not recall, Mother works at The Home Depot. I couldn't help but visualize her twisting away atop a pile of lumber wearing a veil fashioned out of her orange apron.

Ahem.

What she really meant was that the class is only taught on a afternoon when she has to work. So, in light of this, she's going to leave work, go belly dance, and then return to work.

My Mother is going to leave work, go belly dance, and then return to work.

In other news, I figured out last night that if I want to graduate before the turn of the century I'm going to have to take 417 credits a semester for 37 semesters.

I will be the oldest living human being to ever attempt to get his first real job. If I'm still alive, that is.

Posted by Taylor on October 03, 2005 @ 8:41 am

Photography is not my thing.

This is unfortunate because I'm taking a photography class this semester. I'd post some of my past assignments but I see no reason to punish anyone beyond the poor, unfortunate souls in my class.

We did not get an assigment this week. We were supposed to create one for ourselves. In light of the upcoming holiday, I decided to shoot Things That Scare Me. I haven't managed to take a single shot that surpasses mediocre but, in trying to shoot my foggy bathroom mirror (I'm always afraid that ghostly messages will appear in foggy bathroom mirrors!) I managed to accidentally take a picture of myself that I don't want to tear up, light on fire, then extinguish with my own piss.

If only it didn't look so angsty! You can blame the lighting I was using to get my scary mirror shot.

Posted by Taylor on September 29, 2005 @ 6:32 pm

We have the luckiest maids in the history of compensated domestic help.

They only come every other wednesday so as it is, there isn't much expected of them. Then there's the fact that I'm a complete and total psychopath when it comes to cleaning and, thus, have usually scoured the house before they even get here.

I clean for the maids. I think that clearly illustrates the level of instability I deal with on a daily basis.

This, for the record, has only been since I've moved back. When they were cleaning only for J, I'm sure they left here broken and bleeding. It kind of makes me wonder what they do while they're here now. I have visions of them lounging naked on the furniture. You'd have to get a good look at Olga to fully appreciate how disturbing that is.

Okay, I have to go to the grocery store now if I want enough time to make key lime pielettes for our LOST get-together tonight. It's been a lovely, sunny San Francisco day and I think that key lime pielettes will really be the perfect way to cap it off.

Posted by Taylor on September 28, 2005 @ 4:11 pm

I'm inclined to think

it's worth noting that I've somehow managed to lose half of a turkey sandwich somewhere in my house.

The first half was so good, too. Pity.

(Yes, Darling, I've already checked under the kitchen table chairs!)

Posted by Taylor on September 23, 2005 @ 9:22 pm

Home from class, and can I just say

that my teacher has been drawing perfectly straight lines for 20 years and boy howdy does it show.

On a related note, watching someone draw perfectly straight lines for 3 hours feels not at all unlike watching someone draw perfectly straight lines for 20 years.

Posted by Taylor on September 21, 2005 @ 3:28 pm

J is taking anatomy this semester.

It's not a real anatomy class. They won't be dissecting fetal pigs or cats or anything. This is an art school afterall. It's basically a figure drawing class where he also has to draw the given bones in their proper place. Personally, I couldn't give a rat's ass about anatomy, but then that's why I'm a graphic design major and he's a character modeling major. I must say, though, that I'm particularly enjoying him in this class.

Last night, for example, I came home from my six-hour class and he was fresh off of learning the scapula. After making me poke and prod one of the cats until I'd found his scapula, J then proceeded to point out my scapula. Who knew that finding ones scapula could feel so good? I've already told him that he's more than welcome to find my scapula any time he pleases, or any other bone for that matter.

Hey, how about this whole Rita thing? I haven't seen or read any news yet this morning, and I know how likely these storms are to change, but the whole situation sounds pretty crappy to me. Although, while watching the news last night J and I had this conversation:

Man from Florida on the news: Oh yeah, she was pretty bad when she passed through here! There was seaweed and sponges all over the road!
Me: Oh, how awful!
Me: Although, seaweed and sponges all over the road sounds kind of fun.
J: You'd be out there in the middle of the street with an avocado mask and cucumber slices over your eyes, wouldn't you?
Me: No! I'm allergic to avocados. Maybe a mango scrub, though.

Just because your house is filling up with water doesn't mean you should neglect your skin.

Posted by Taylor on September 21, 2005 @ 9:13 am